I have a harsh truth to share and before you read my next sentence and think “Screw her,” hear me out.
You get to choose your health, so if you are unhappy with how you look or feel, that’s because of the choices you’ve made.
Okay, I know some of you won’t like to read that, but hold on. I was in the same boat. I found myself feeling unhappy with where I was and how I was feeling. I had thoughts like, “Why can’t I lose weight?” “This isn’t fair.” “Life isn’t supposed to be like this.” “I should be able to enjoy food.”
WHAT IS HEALTHY
So, when I say that you are choosing your health, what I mean is, you know what it takes to be healthy. It isn’t some secret that society is hiding. The common messages we all hear are:
Exercise regularly (both physically and mentally)
Manage your stress
Ok, so if we can agree this is what it takes to be healthy, why do we struggle?
STRUGGLE #1 ~ THE LOOK
Our struggle is caused by a few factors. First, we don’t know what WE want. We know what society wants us to want, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is true to our core.
There’s an image that most women and men see and think they need to imitate. It breeds thoughts of, “I’m not enough (thin enough, pretty enough, sexual enough, strong enough, bulky enough). We drive ourselves crazy trying to fit into a box that we were never meant to actually fit in.
The reality is, that image that society paints involves habits that most of us have no interest in adopting. We just want the look, we don’t want to have to adjust our life to achieve that “perfect” look.
If you want to stop the struggle you need to figure out what YOU want. Not what you want to look like, but what habits you want to adopt or maintain that can create a balance that allows you to LIVE a life that is worth living AND feel good about yourself. If that means enjoying pizza a few times a week and not having a 6-pack, is it worth it?
You don’t need to Google what it is to be healthy, you need to practice finding a balance that YOU enjoy. How often do you enjoy exercising? How often do you enjoy eating healthy? And so on. Get clear with what you WANT, and practice for a few months. If at the end of that time you aren’t happy with the results, you already have all the knowledge and tools to adjust your balance to see better results.
STRUGGLE #2 ~ AUTOPILOT
Every day you make one decision after the next. Let’s be real, sometimes it can be exhausting (most times it’s exhausting). So, we go into autopilot. We let our pre-programmed mind make decisions for us. The problem is, we don’t always like the decisions our autopilot brain makes.
Our autopilot brain operates from a space of comfort and safety. Let me ask you, have you ever heard of energetic food? What about comfort food? We all know the second one. So it’s no big surprise that when we leave our health decisions to our comfort brain we choose comfort food and staying comfortable on the couch, versus sweating at the gym.
Don’t get me wrong, autopilot is necessary, with the number of decisions we have to make daily. But if you want to create a different outcome with your health then you need to wake up when you are making decisions about your health.
An easy trick to tell if you are making health choices from a comfort space or a space of being awake is by checking in to see if you feel guilty after eating something bad. If you do, then you didn’t choose it, your comfort brain did.
** SCIENCE FACT: Autopilot or comfort brain is your mid-brain, and your awake brain is your frontal cortex. They operate differently.
Now, I’m not saying never have pizza or a donut, because trust me I do. But what I’m saying is if you’re going to, do so consciously. Choose to understand and heal the relationship you have with food. If you don’t think you have one I encourage you to read my blog Your Relationship With Food
STRUGGLE #3 ~ LOVE ALWAYS WINS
Change doesn’t happen from a place of hate, it comes from a place of love. Most people have no idea how true this is and how important your “come from” is. When I say ‘come from’ I mean your intention behind it. Let me demonstrate:
Read the sentences below and think about how each makes you feel:
1. I have to go to the gym if I ever want to lose this weight.
2. I want to go to the gym so I can feel better.
The first sentence is probably something you’ve thought about before, but it also feels disempowering, shameful, negative, or sad. The second sentence feels lighter, more hopeful, and empowering. So why does this matter? GREAT QUESTION! Our brain chooses things that it finds pleasurable.
For example, I wake up at 4AM every day. Trust me, I hate the morning, so why do I do it? Because I feel better all day when I start my day with my self care and body care time. When I skip a day, I am more irritable, anxious, and stressed. The pleasure isn’t in the 4AM, the pleasure lies in the hours following where I feel great and ready to take on the day.
So when you enter into health choices from a space of negativity, you will never enjoy it, and it will feel impossible to stay consistent. You will find yourself on a rollercoaster because you’re making it feel like torture.
However, when you enter into health choices with the intention to help yourself and to work with yourself to get to a better place, your brain will want to work with you. It will sign up for the job and be ready to help out, because after all it lives in you!
This might not seem important but is it THE KEY!
DIFFERENT CHOICES= DIFFERENT OUTCOMES
You are not a victim of your health, you are just asleep. You signed off the job and delegated it to an underachiever. If someone else in your life wasn’t performing to your standards, wouldn’t you re-evaluate their position?
Maybe now is the time that YOU CHOOSE to make different choices. It’s not easy, that is for sure, but you are not alone. There are millions of people who struggle with body image, but you don’t have to be one of them if YOU CHOOSE to make different choices.
If I can offer up one piece of advice, it’s to crawl before you walk, walk before you run, and run before you sprint. I know you want it all right now, but if you set yourself up to change everything right away your brain will freak out and you will find yourself right back where you are.
I encourage you to ALLOW this time to be different. Seek support, sign up for a FREE COACHING CALL and make a plan to move forward, come from a space of love, make conscious choices, and find a lifestyle balance that YOU feel good about.
This is your life, and you only get one. You have no idea what you are truly capable of, so stop doubting yourself and start believing in the beautiful unicorn that you are!