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What is with the stigma around self improvement?

Why do people get all judgey if you get a self-help book? And why is it that if you’re brave enough to go to therapy you’re supposed to be all hush-hush about it?

Think about it - no one is the BEST they can be ALL of the time. Nobody is perfect at everything - meaning everyone can improve at something - so why does society view that as a negative? Wanting to improve is...bad?

Is it me or is that crazy?


I go to therapy. Not only for myself but also for my marriage. I accept that life and relationships can be challenging. So, I’ve chosen to be proactive, and I can recognize how intensely it has impacted my life for the better.

Why should anyone be judged for realizing they can improve at something? Every human in the world can improve at something. No person is predisposed to be the best at everything. Now, you might be the best in your field or in a specific sport, but no one is perfect at EVERYTHING!

If you truly understand that, then you also understand that it means every human alive can improve at something, and yet society shames us or judges us for having the courage to recognize the potential for growth and improvement.

I say we flip the script. Why not try to improve? Why not try to be the best version of ourselves? Why not grow? Refusing to recognize that we need help to grow is really a coward’s way out. But, we all know how it feels to avoid growth and improvement out of the fear of change.


I don’t blame people for being afraid. Changing your life is a tough process.

It’s easy to say ‘Nobody is perfect’, and recognize that everyone can improve, but to actually take action and to make incremental changes to your lifestyle is HARD. Society’s stigma definitely plays its role in encouraging people to avoid pursuing self improvement, and that is why it takes courage.

Think about how messed up that is: It literally takes COURAGE to take action to improve yourself! I think it’s important to recognize that. In today’s day and age we need to cultivate the courage to try and improve because society has instilled in us that self-improvement is something to be embarrassed about, but it’s a CHOICE only YOU can make. Because you are the one who needs to be ready in order to move forward.


The first step is recognizing you want to improve and accepting that this might be challenging and maybe even a little bit scary. That’s why you need courage to take this on.

What you need to be cautious of is procrastination. You know it, and I know it: We as humans are really good at making up bullshit excuses. Trust me, I’m a trainer, so I hear them all the time.

My personal favorite is the “time” argument. Don’t get me wrong, when you feel like you have no time, you are typically overwhelmed and you feel like you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get everything done.

But at the end of the day, YOU MAKE TIME for the things that are important. Think about it this way: We take life for granted. We live most of our lives feeling invincible, when the reality is, we all could die tomorrow. If you keep pushing off self improvement you will never improve. When “time” is your excuse you will never feel like you have the time to devote to improving yourself.


So, let’s get serious: I want to extend a challenge to anyone who reads this.

Reflect on your current life. Actually sit down and think about it for 10-30 minutes.

Write it down if it helps, but evaluate your life. Measure the good, measure the bad, measure the ugly.

Then choose one area where you want to improve to make your life better. Once you choose your ONE thing, you have 48 hours to take action.

It might be your work situation that you’re unhappy with and you need to have the courage to ask for what you need. Maybe it’s your relationship with your partner or parents where you need to raise your expectations to cultivate the desired relationship. Or maybe you want to improve your health or fitness and you need to find an accountability partner. It doesn’t matter what it is or how big or small the action taken. It matters that you take action and try.

Now, you’re not allowed to use the excuse that you “don’t have time.” That’s fear talking. Understand if you want to improve, you have to put yourself at the top of your priority list.

You are the only person who can change yourself. If you want to be better, TAKE ACTION and become better.

Choose yourself and forget society’s stigmas, because here is one thing I promise: It might not be an easy process, but the way you’ll feel after you’ve taken steps to improve your own life will empower you in a way you’ve never felt.

So, are you up for the challenge?

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